Post COVID Skating
“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.” – Homer .S
Skating in a covidchondriac world is going to be difficult seeing that you gonna be doing it wearing a mask. Now that corona is the new leprosy, you can’t be heard coughing anymore, so I think a new product will be out soon which will help mask the sound of your cough. Maybe it could make a loud fart sound just as you cough (the cofartinator?). This way people keep their social distance from you, as well as believe you don’t have "the COVID ", this is sounding like a winning corona invention. During the lockdown, anybody going out to skate was looked upon as an outcast, so you couldn’t do it even though you knew all those crowded spots you have seen would be deserted. After the lockdown, you are only supposed to hang out with the homies if it is important like homework, protests, religious meetings, etc. So if you do go skate be sure to do it alone. In the next months let’s look at some of the norms skaters may start adhering to-
- No more rubbing skin. In the future we cannot do the mandatory handshake/fist bump cause…..you know Corona.
- Pro model mask will become a thing. Imagine getting your Nyjah mask in the mail. It has his custom graphic and everything. Now you are protected from the virus as well as having some real tech on your face which could improve your hard flips.
- You can’t be bumming no doobies at the skatepark anymore cause the dudes that have weed have a legit reason not to share their joints anymore. (Side note if you are a smoker and have to cough up after a big satisfying drag do buy a cofartinator )
- All skate lessons are online. So expect to have a bunch of beginners looking at their phones and bumping into each other at the skatepark as they try to follow the commands of some faceless instructor who is sure to be some rollerblader.
We are on our way to a not so brave new world. Fear is seeping into everybody’s lives but we gotta keep skating with our homies somehow.